Grantastic! It is Michelle Murray the ninja Granmaster!
7th May 2008


It has been pretty difficult time for your Shihan recently. He at the time of writing is no longer the most famous and influential person in his house as he has been usurped. He has been upstaged and he has crashed down the pecking order, but do not worry your little hearts he will at some stage very soon reacquire his natural and rightful place in the circle of life.

Shidoshi Michelle who’s usual job in the household is to pander to the every need and whim of your Shihan but evidently this was not enough for her, she wanted more not MOOR and she was about to get it, big style!

She hit the telephone and made some calls and if by some kind of voodoo Ninja magic she was in more newspapers and magazines and had received more column inches than Jade Goodie at the height of her crass stupidity and wobbly ass. Shidoshi Michelle’s photograph was in every paper he glanced at, she was offered money for her story and finally she hit the big time… the TV offer eventually came in.




Now, as you might well and quite rightly assume Shidoshi Michelle’s new found fame would have been firmly and solely based upon her association with her much Moor famous partner, your Shihan, but oh no. As these curious events played out it was not about your Shihan at all and as these curious events span their precious webs it became abundantly clear to your Shihan that Shidoshi Michelle had another two chaps in her life, your Shihan had competition!

These new chaps, these upstarts, these robbers of fortune and fame from your Shihan had names and they were called Finley and Shay-William. It matters not that Finley is barely three years old and young Shay-William is measured in months, no, indeed all that mattered was that Shidoshi Michelle is a proud Granny. As it turns out, the media love a Granny story and Shidoshi Michelle would be the Granny story of the year because if you can get Granny and Ninja into any story, evidently it is a winner.

For all of you who love and care about your Shihan it is gratifying to note at this stage that he did achieve a further footnote of fame and fortune with the reflected glory of the whole, the greater picture and story because without his genius Shidoshi Michelle would not have been drawn to him like a kame kaze moth to the flickering flame and he was too an old geezer with Grandchildren and these facts are told like this as they were conveniently cast aside by the heartless media.

The relentless round of media intrusion and the constant flickering of flashguns firing just became another consequence in this untypical Ninja household. When the TV crew pulled into their picturesque village the buzz of excitement amongst the locals was audible or was it just the sound of them brushing their teeth in anticipation of appearing as extras in the wide shots. For two long hours Shidoshi Michelle beat your Shihan with a large and heavy stick of her choice until the film cameras had been sufficiently fed and the quizzical reporter has extinguished his curiosity as to how much punishment and pain a muddle aged and overshadowed Ninja could take, and about two hours was his answer.

The relentless and humiliating bashing of your Shihan was finally aired on the evening before he left the shores of the Severn for the sweet smells of the Japanese sewerage system and when he returned what did he find? Well, as it turned out the natural order of things had returned and he was once again the most famous person in his home and although he had to acknowledge that the fame of Shidoshi Michelle has lasted slightly longer than the predicted fifteen minutes he was very proud of her and of Finley and Shay-William and he was once again blessing his lot in life.

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YOUNG AND OLD AND GINGER AND GREY

Marc Moor, your sprightly if slightly tubby 51year old Shihan has recently returned from his latest Musha Shugyo or warrior pilgrimage to the worlds centre of Kikkoman soy source production which also, thankfully doubles as the home of Bujinkan Ninjutsu and of Hatsumi Soke.

On this hastily arranged trip to Japan your excited Shihan was willingly accompanied by the large ginger frame of young James Seddon a Shodan from Plymouth. Despite his almost unnatural height James is a quiet vegetarian, not quiet in the sense that he is somehow ashamed of his unwillingness to let anything that once had a happy, or indeed an unhappy face pass his lips and enter his gullet, no, he is just quiet, full stop. Having four daughters your Shihan was not complaining in any way shape or form about the noticeable downturn in conversational volume and content. Young James and old Marc got on just fine.

The journey out was a long one due to arriving at Heathrow six hours early followed by the flight being delayed for an hour due to the wrong kind of rain. By the time they had reached their Far Eastern destination they were completely knackered, it was the kind of tiredness that robbed them of their powers of thought and movement. After a well planned two hour and fully appreciated nap late in the afternoon they were both set in mind and body for their first class and as it was a Friday it was that of Hatsumi Soke in the Hombu Dojo. By the end of the class they were well set for their Japanese adventure. Witnessing at first hand the magnificent mastery of subtle movement that Hatsumi Soke is capable of even at his age is amazing and highly motivational.

When you are that tired you do not sleep. When you are that tired you crash into unconsciousness and when you finally awake you want food. As it happens your Shihan had never shared Japan with a vegetarian, quiet or otherwise before and so the menu at Saizeria (if you have been to Japan you will know all about it and if not it does not really matter) was thoroughly examined for the various options that would satisfy the unusual demands of a large quiet ginger vegetarian. As it turns out there was precious little and as it turns out James as well as being large and ginger and quiet is also a slightly fussy vegetarian. This extra fact now narrowed his options right down to plain pizza and assorted variants of Japanese bread in its curious variety of shapes and textures.

The next notable event was the Saturday evening trek to Asakadai to attend the personal Dojo of the awesome Nagato Sensei. It is a journey time of about two hours on the immaculately run Japanese train service and it was a journey your Shihan had done many times before, but then he had never been there with a large quiet and ginger vegetarian before and so inevitably your Shihan got the two of them completely lost only about one hundred metres from their objective, fortunately they were early and fortunately a young and helpful Japanese lady pointed the way and it was then in a flash of inspiration that your Shihan realised how he had got so lost… it was mainly due to the fact that he was old and decrepit and he could not count two sets of traffic lights. They got there in time. By way of an apology for getting lost in the rain your Shihan offered to James that on their return on the following Saturday they would leave even early to eat at a rarely seen Japanese vegetarian restaurant which just happened to be virtually next door to the Dojo of Nagato. It was a done deal.

Every great adventure requires a surprise or two. After Sunday lunch in Saizeria, which was after the classes of Nagato Sensei and Hatsumi Soke in the Hombu Dojo your Shihan heard a voice that he recognised and he turned and saw a face that he recognised, it was Shidoshi Paul Stubbs from Swindon. With him were a young Shodan called Poj and an old geezer called Frank and Frank had come for his Godan test, and nothing else as it turns out. Shidoshi Paul and your Shihan have been friends for fifteen years and it was s pleasant surprise to see him and they got on like a Japanese house on fire or more like two Japanese houses on fire.

All the wonderful master classes of the Bujinkan flashed passed as did all the sights and sounds and smells of Japan and so it came to the last Saturday. Paul had also made a solemn pledge to James that he would along with your Shihan suffer any consequence that might well befall him and your Shihan in what seemed to be the only vegetarian restaurant in Japan. They came together at Kashiwa train station and left early enough to satisfy the particular hunger of any large vegetarian. The train journey was uneventful and so too, after the previous weeks fiasco was the walk from Asakadai station.

As far as Shidoshi Paul and your Shihan were concerned there was a Budo God because when they got to it, the only veggie restaurant in Japan was unseasonly and firmly closed. The undiluted sniggering from the ungracious pair was evident but James was stoic in the face of unfathomable Japanese opening times. They all ate at ‘Denny’s’ and it was good, much better than expected.

Nagato Sensei met the three at the Dojo door and that was a surprise as they were an hour early. Your Shihan turned out to be the main uke for the class and it started gently enough with a punch to his throat and then it got a little more intense when the sticks came out. None of that fazed your incredible Shihan too much, he might be old and slightly senile but he is tough enough. At one point, slightly nearer death when Nagato Sensei launched your Shihan for a particularly brutal throw on the uncompromising wooden floor Marc was heard by all who were present to cry, “Oh shit!” in the ear of Nagato. It was not the finest moment in the history of your Shihan…

That session ended with Shidoshi Paul being awarded his well deserved 8th Dan and pretty much that was the end of the story and this particular trip. The vegetarian and your Shihan did enjoy one more class from Nagato Sensei and Hatsumi Soke in the Hombu Dojo the following day.

Your Shihan would like to note that he did appreciate the rather funky Internet café in Kashiwa.