Discovery of the Year
22nd July 2008

The Discovery Channel called your Shihan because they wanted a practicing Ninja who knew his Ninja and Japanese history and who could demonstrate amazing skills and finally someone who had star quality, they wanted a Ninja genius! The only thing that surprised your Shihan is that it took the Discover Channel so long to find him.

It was a little rushed and the timing could have been better but with just two days notice your Shihan gathered together a small army of master Ninja to perform their taijutsu skills for a worldwide audience of millions.

This tiny and ever so slightly barmy army gathered outside a decrepit hall in a secret location in London and this fearsome fighting force consisted of Dave Giddings, the inspirational instructor of the Newbury network, Steve the ‘amazing old man’ Nash who managed successfully to conspire to die of a heart attack last year but bounced back to life after a triple heart bypass (something like the A40 just outside Gloucester at the present time) and is now steadying the good ship Coalway as the instructor and all round good egg, the ever present Ryan Hobbs the saviour of the Friday Ninja class in Cardiff and the ultimate Ginger Ninja from the depths of Wales joined the mighty blood craving Michelle ‘don’t **** with me’ Murray the UK’s most celebrated Kunoichi Shidoshi and grandmother and your mild mannered and completely sane Shihan.

 
The crumbling secret Ninja location

When the film crew eventually turned up we were all charmed by the slightly haywire Lisa who seemed to have some degree of authority on the days events. Within minutes the crappy hall was turned into a blacked out Ninja paradise and with its strategically placed lights and camera your Shihan looked amazing!

“Action” and the camera rolled and the lights scorched the air and Ryan and your Shihan were joined in mortal combat for the pleasure and education of the great unwashed. This particular sequence was filmed and re-filmed from every angle and speed and after what seemed an eternity it was a ‘wrap’. The lights and the hours of taijutsu had taken its toll as your normally elegant and refined Shihan had become one with Ryan as a sweat soaked and tired Ninja. That, though was not the end, it was not even the beginning of the end it was but the end of the beginning, because with barely enough time to quench his thirst your Shihan was ‘up and at ‘em’ again but this time in a multiple attack scenario. This sequence called for all the Ninja present to attack your poor, sweaty and tired Shihan and again after an eternity of filming from every angle and speed your Shihan finally realised what it was to be tired and sweaty!  Finally, your Shihan got a well-deserved rest when Shidoshi Michelle and Dave filmed their sequence and your Shihan has to congratulate the pair on the amazing performance.

Then, immediately after this sequence the Ninja gang travelled back home contemplating the millions that would be seeing them in action, on TV, on the Discovery Channel along with Budo Warrior Schools old boy Mr Bear Grylls   …

A field very near the lovely city of Hereford was the location for the final days filming. In between the showers and grey skies there was just time enough for your Shihan to conduct all of his many interviews about the history of the Ninja and Kayakajutsu and the Bansen Shukai and also he had to talk about what was being filmed because when the whole thing is edited it will seem as though your Shihan is the person who is doing the investigating on behalf of the Discovery Channel. How cool is that!


A break during one of the many interviews

With the sheer joy of trying to remember what it is your Shihan was talking about including dates and Japanese terminology and why he was there, and still doing his level best to sound enthusiastic and informative and being careful to include what is to be unheard question into the first sentence of the answer of your Shihan without moving his head even half an inch, time after time and finally over, it was time to have some fun, shuriken style!

The Higurimaken used in the special effects

Your Shihan had this target called Simon, he was in essence a tailors dummy with his stomach hollowed out by a disgruntled suit or girlfriend and stuffed full of ballistics gel which was made to copy the body mass of someone possibly called Simon. Your Shihan also had a shuriken, and this shuriken was hand crafted to an original and authentic specification by very qualified special effects craftsman and it was very big, bigger than he had ever thrown before, so big was it that the very sight of it caused Shidoshi Michelle to park the car in a very erratic and un-Kunoichi fashion.

The first task was straight forward enough and that was to deal Simon a deathly shuriken blow right slap bang in the middle of his once proud six pack, after making his excuses by telling the production team that he had not thrown a shuriken for about ten years and had never thrown one with such substantial proportions your Shihan delivered the decisive and stunning shuriken shot on the 3rd throw much to the relief of himself and the assembled throng, then it was time for lunch an all expenses paid salmon delight!

After lunch things took on a slightly comic turn, with a more surreal or Monty Python feel to the proceedings. Your Shihan had to hand over the shuriken to the special effects man to turn it into a higurumaken complete with two short fuses and two small containers of ‘black powder’ that would cause a great cloud of smoke. All was going without a hitch until your Shihan was presented with the ‘room’ into which he would have to with full venom hurl this ancient smoke grenade. The room turned out to be the smallest and cheapest plywood shed that B&Q could supply, the shuriken was almost as big as the shed. The difficulty would be keeping a straight face on your Shihan as he would in the finest method acting tradition open the shed door hurl the shuriken and shut the same shed door and then, get this, and then he had to wait as ‘if’ they enemy would emerge…. Not just once but many times from different angles and even with the camera in the shed, unless your Shihan had been called upon to fight Ken Dodd and his diddy men it would have been grossly unnatural to believe that anyone could actually fit in the shed in the first place. 

With that done it was all over, it was ‘a wrap on Marc!’

Q OR NOT TO Q

Young Nidan Ed Stone having a go with your Shihan

The first ever Budo Q was a complete success so much so that it has become a monthly activity throughout the Summer. The training takes place outside in the open in the fantastic village of Newnham-on-Severn, the home of your Shihan and the wonderful BBQ is in the miniature garden by the miniature house of your Shihan but fun and food in abundance is guaranteed. An afternoon for Budo Warriors doing what they do best, eating and drinking…

Ed Stone hard at work having fun

For more information on the next or up coming Budo Q’s please contact your Shihan.

BIRTHDAY BASHED
A picture paints a thousand words and here are a few pictures of Birthday Camp 8. There were many happy and joyous moments but perhaps his most abiding memory was when his beloved Michelle bestowed with much white wine fell into the by then smouldering camp fire. Oh! How your Shihan laughed and laughed.

The not so militant Welsh brigade

The birthday camp was also a ranking good time as Jay Venegas from the Fudoshin Dojo in Bridgend was awarded his Shodan and Ryan Hobbs from the Sleeping Dragon Dojo in Cardiff was awarded his Sandan.

This year’s camp also saw some new faces along with the old guard and it was a complete pleasure for your Shihan to meet and greet these fresh faces.

First timers Mark Lewis and Bethany Weller working on their Samba!

It was a true birthday weekend with cakes and all for the Budo Warrior Schools 8th birthday and for Shidoshi Laurie Muskett, Andy Potter and Jay Venegas who shared their birthday celebrations.

Matthew Wyatt-Williams takes on his Shihan

Mr Wyatt-Williams from the Sleeping Dragon Dojo in Cardiff won the award for the most stupid suntan and will now be known as ‘Hair Flick!’

Jay Venegas takes a Shodan style beating

Soon it will be Birthday Camp 10 and your Shihan and Shidoshi Michelle could do with some suggestions as to properly mark this humongous event! GIVE US YOUR IDEAS, please.